“A woman is the image and glory of God; but the man is the glory of woman” (swapping the words “man” and “woman” in a Bible passage produces interesting results)

This sexist passage in the Bible from Saint Paul (1 Corinthians 11) has harmed women’s position in marriage/society/Christianity for 2000 years. Here I flip it on its head, swapping “man” for “woman” words: it feels great being the favoured gender in the Bible, for a change!

Saint Paulina writes: Now I want you to realize that the head of every woman is Julia Christ, and the head of the man is woman, and the head of Julia Christ is our Lady God. Every woman who prays or prophesies with her head covered dishonors her head. And every man who prays or prophesies with his head uncovered dishonors his head—it is just as though his head were shaved. If a man does not cover his head, he should have his hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a man to have his hair cut or shaved off, he should cover his head. A woman ought not to cover her head, since she is the image and glory of God; but the man is the glory of woman. For woman did not come from man, but man from woman; neither was woman created for man, but man for woman. For this reason, and because of the angels, the man ought to have a sign of authority on his head.

 In our Lady Lord, however man is not independent of woman, nor is woman independent of man. For as man came from woman, so also man fathers a daughter who becomes a woman. But everything comes from God. Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a man to pray to God with his head uncovered? Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a woman has long hair, it is a disgrace to her, but that if a man has long hair, it is his glory? For long hair is given to him as a covering. If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice—nor do the churches of God.